Letter to X


Dear X,

It isn’t fair. Your life was laid out for you even before you were born. You never had any say in it, and now you are blamed daily for not being able to change it. You rage and rage trying to change something and the only thing that happens is that you get sent further and further away from the wind you are chasing. You keep getting told to change your behaviour but you don’t know to what. You keep getting barked at and pecked at and harangued for your hair, your rolled up sleeves, your wrong shoes, your no pen and your unfinished homework. You never ever get credit for the little things you did that took all your strength to do.

If I could take you home, I’d make you eat a good breakfast. Every day. I’d touch you safely, kindly and gently every five minutes. I’d read to you, even if you are 14 years old and you say it’s gay. I’d make you eat a good dinner with vegetables and then I’d make you go for a walk with me round the streets as the sun sets. I’d stroke your hair as you fall asleep, tell you that you are safe and make sure you stay there all night long. I’d cry out of sheer frustration, but I’d never quit. I’d ban Facebook, Twitter, chat rooms and webcam, I’d give you a phone with no data allowance and I’d make you earn your own money. I’d insist on perfect school attendance and I’d celebrate a D if the last result was an E. I’d teach you to ignore bullies and be better than them. I’d smile at you and use a gentle voice, but my will for your would be iron strong. If anyone would come at you, I would defend you. I’d protect you, but make you face up to your mistakes. I’d advocate relentlessly on your behalf, but make you accept any consequences due to you. I would make you study and travel and say no to boys who are not worthy of you. I’d make you read the paper and watch the news. I’d ask your opinion and listen when you give it.

It isn’t fair.


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