My boys are growing up. They don’t look like toddlers anymore, but they are not yet little boys. I call them kiddlers, that stage where they are beginning to act human, yet still revert on an hourly basis to their primitive, toddler instincts.
Twin One, Mr R, has what may possibly the world’s most annoying kiddler habit. It goes a little something like this:
R: Mummeeee (with upward inflection)….I wanna miwwwwk (upward inflection)
Me: *gets milk*
R: NO!! NO MIWK! *swats hand at milk in attempt to get offending milk out of his sight*
Me: Ok no milk *takes milk away*
R: *SCREAMS* I WANNA MIWWWWK!!!!
ME: * hands milk to R*
R: *throws milk on ground*
Me: *face palm*
Twin Two, Mr S, aka Trouble attacks life with a ferocious appetite. His eyes are often bulging wide with the excitement of some mischief or game he has invented. He has instantaneous wiring between the Mummy said don’t do that part of his brain and the DO THAT!!! part of his brain. Allow me to illustrate:
Me: Don’t touch the fan.
Mr S: Mummy said don’t touch the fan *touches the fan*
Me: Don’t touch the poo.
Mr S: Don’t touch the poo *touches poo*
Me: Don’t eat the caterpillar.
Mr S: Mummy said…
…well, you get the picture. What works so much better with Mr S are DO instructions, as opposed to DON’T DO instructions. Nine out of ten times I say don’t, he does. So when I have my brilliant parent hat on, and I remember to give him an alternative behaviour and say DO, guess what? He does!
But there are promising signs. Brains are developing in our house at a cracking pace. Kids included. I see new things every day that remind me that step by step we are turning these boys into functioning humans. I’m in a fabulously different head space.