Why the hell did I have kids?


Well? Come on, do you know? I am yet to come up with a good answer. I really have no idea. I watched a TV show recently about women who are child free by choice (like this is supposed to be some kind of unbelievable phenomenon). These exceptionally sensible women reported that they were often considered selfish, selfish, I’ll say it again, SELFISH, for not having kids. I can’t think of anything more responsible, honest, selfless and utterly judicious than knowing you don’t want kids and subsequently deciding not to have any. I can’t think of a more RIGHT decision than that. And there is something about that term child FREE that is just enticing.

I think I fell into having kids. I can’t remember deciding. I wonder if that is the case for lots of people. Some say to wait until the time is right. Some say the time will never be right. Some say don’t wait too long. Some say don’t do it unless you’re sure. I think I just did it because that was the next thing. I think yes, I did want kids but I am not sure I ever thought about why. I think if you thought too much about why to have kids and all that it would encompass, nobody would ever do it. I would never wish my three little personalities away now that I know and love them, but I do think about the life I would have if we had decided not to procreate. We would certainly be travelling more. I would have seen way more movies, read way more books, eaten way more fancy dinners in schmancy restaurants. I might even have an extra degree by now. I would sure as hell have more disposable income. But how would my relationship be different if we had no kids? Would there be a lingering regret? Would one of us resent the other for not being more enthusiastic about the idea of children? Would we be just fine or would there be a three leafed hole where our boys were supposed to be?

I don’t want my life to be any different to the way it is right now. I do not have any good answer to explain why I had kids. I am not even sure I’d recommend it. Maybe it’s fine to go ahead and pop a few out if you re thinking it might be nice but aren’t sure why. I like my kids heaps and I wouldn’t give them away for quids. But having kids is not THE ultimate completion of life and humanity. It’s not the best thing I’ve ever done and it isn’t why I live and breathe. Women who choose not to have kids are not only perfectly normal, I’d hazard a guess that they are possibly even a little more mentally stable than the rest of us.


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