Mother Martyr

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Every time Mother Of One had coffee with Mother Of Two, she couldn’t really say how she truly felt and that she was struggling with motherhood so terribly. Because of course Mother Of Two had a lot more on her plate. You see, Mother Of One hadn’t told anyone, but her husband had recently lost his job and had sunk into a deep depression. She was sure that their relationship was falling apart. She was emotionally drained and struggled to feel love for her tiny baby. But hey, there were people who had it worse right?

Every time Mother Of Two had lunch with Twin Mother, she kept her feelings of mother shame to herself. Because of course, poor Twin Mother was dealing with TWO babies AT THE SAME TIME! Mother Of Two’s problems paled into insignificance. So she kept to herself the fact that her shouting at the children had reached a point where she was so overcome with shame that she felt incapacitated. She was fearful that someone would ‘take her kids away’ and that of course she was a terrible mum. But she couldn’t tell anybody, because someone always has worse issues right?

Every time Twin Mother had tea with Mother Of Twins Plus One On The Way, she wanted so desperately to say how she thought she was losing her mind. But she didn’t. Because hapless Mother Of Twins Plus One On The Way was always talking about her anxiety around how she would deal with a newborn baby when she already had so much to cope with. Twin Mother kept quiet about feeling like she wanted to cut herself or drink bleach just so she could get some attention for once, she kept that very quiet. Because really, what were her problems compared to that of others?

When Mother Of Twins Plus One On The Way had dinner with Mother Of Triplets, they rarely talked about anything. Raising triplets had made Mother Of Triplets was so hyper alert that she had forgotten how to converse with adults and Mother Of Twins Plus One On The Way was simply in awe of Mother of Triplets. Mother Of Twins With One On The Way really wanted to say that she loved having twins, couldn’t wait for her next baby, but she didn’t want to sound smug. She even hoped for another set of twins. But she didn’t want to make it sound like everything was peachy. Even thought it pretty much was. You’ve got to be sensitive to other people’s struggles right?

One day, Mother Of Triplets had drinks with Quad Mum. The two of them had far too much to drink because it had been so long since they’d been out without the children. In their crazy, loveable, drunken stupor, they talked about life, love, passion, and truth. They remembered that they were women, people who used to not be mothers. They laughed and talked truth and nobody felt smug or drained or ashamed.

 

 

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About traceyegan

I live in Australia with my husband and three boys. I work outside the home with other people's kids and inside the home with my own kids. It's a world of kids. All views are my own and do not reflect that of my employer.

4 responses »

  1. Pingback: What to write when you can’t write | Passing Phase

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