I had this relationship that had become a bit stale. Like this old person kind of hanging around, but I was still feeling this level of obligation to them because we had shared so much history and that. It had come to the point where, to be honest (and maybe a bit brutal) it was an inconvenient relationship. It was a bit awks too because they were just like there all the time you know. Look to be honest with you, it was nothing more than a relationship of convenience. Meaningless noise in the background. Gosh I know that sounds heartless but let’s be honest. It’s not that I’m not thankful. We’ve shared some life changing moments. The first female Prime Minister, the worldwide Ebola crisis, MH17 and 370, various World Cups, numerous election nights, the Royal Wedding, the Bachelor Finale. Unforgettable.
The main problem was that this relationship had started to choke out some of my other relationships. And I never said let’s be exclusive, can we just put that right out there ok. We had a standing date for the seven o’clock news. Every night. It was like a deadline in the sand and I couldn’t miss it. Some would say the hallmark of a controlling relationship. It did nothing for me other than to make putting the kids to bed even more stressful. You could almost say that this relationship had become more important than spending time with my kids. Ewwww.
If you have followed this blog for some time, you may recall me writing about my entertaining life with depression and twins. One of the things that I have really struggled with is noise. Yes noise, far too much of it in fact. Imagine my surprise when, after dumping my erstwhile companion, I discovered a significant reduction in noise in my life! This was accompanied by an inexplicable yet divine increase in silence, peace and calm! Had I known that ending this relationship would instantly make me more available to my kids and husband AND make less noise, I would have done it years ago. But hey. Live and learn, live and learn.
Ending this relationship has liberated me. It’s like I’m having my own Eat, Pray, Love moment. I can’t believe how many extra hours there are in an evening for a start. I am even thinking of getting out my dusty, old, incomplete cross stitch that I started in China in 2007. It’s been in the garage for years, another victim of this toxic relationship. I am reading TWO books! Hello brain! My husband and I had an ENTIRE conversation like three nights in a row last week. I think I’m sleeping better because I’m already wound down by the time I hit the pillow. And look, blogging again. I’m glad we said goodbye. I don’t miss you.